My life has been full of choices. My life has been full of challenges. A lot of my challenges are self-inflicted, as I never seem to learn the easy way and I'm very stubborn.

I've made choices that resulted in making life more difficult for myself, but isn't that just part of the process?

I chose to leave home at 18 because I wanted to be in the music industry. So I hopped on a bus with $100 in my pocket and headed for Toronto. When my money and luck ran out, rather than return to Calgary with my tail between my legs admitting I couldn't make it, I chose to move into a homeless shelter for street kids. I chose to take a train across America to see my favourite band play in California on New Year's Eve, sleeping in the train station along the way and having $8 to spend on my Big California Vacation.

I chose to smoke cigarettes (and eventually chose to quit!) I chose to accept jobs that I knew going in would be too stressful (I could hear my gut screaming "No!") I chose to put unhealthy, high fat food in my mouth every single day that inevitably led to obesity and disease. All of these are my choices and I take full responsibility for them.

My diagnosis with MS

Being diagnosed with MS in 1996, well, that wasn't my choice. And it has certainly led to many challenges! It was 2 weeks after my 28th birthday, and I had a slight bout of optic neuritis for the third time. I was referred for an MRI and told I had "early MS". I was told I had Relapsing-Remitting and would most likely not have many problems, as my symptoms were faint and episodes had been years apart.

So I went about my life and didn't consider MS a significant part of it. The first MS related reading material I was handed was a gift from my Dad shortly after diagnosis, Judy Graham's book "Multiple Sclerosis: A Self Help Guide to its Management". I set it aside, thinking I had no need for it - there was nothing to "manage" - I was fine.

As we know though, MS is unpredictable, and that all soon changed. In late 1998 I started experiencing numbness and tingling in my right hand and noticed that my right foot dragged when I walked for any length of time (I was getting out for "power walks" almost every day and stumbling home with blurred vision!).

I refused to listen to my body.

I ignored the symptoms and kept doing what I was doing, figuring they would go away. Early in 1999 I started a new job which was, true to form, very stressful. Within 2 weeks I went totally blind in my right eye. My body continued its downward spiral and in March I hit my breaking point. I couldn't use the right side of my body, could barely walk, and I was still blind.

I didn't know what I was going to do. I had no savings, no disability insurance, and no inheritance on its way... I live alone and had always been a very strong and independent person, so this really threw me for a loop.

I could wallow in self-pity, become a victim, and watch myself digress, or I could make the best of my situation, face my MS head on and take action to help myself.

"I could give MS a run for its money or I could let it run me. I decided to rise to the challenge!"

Now, I did not reach the place of empowerment I am in today overnight, and I did not do it alone. I sure was grateful to have Judy's book nearby though, it gave me hope and lots of ideas!

The next couple of years were a struggle as I tried to manage my MS as well as make a living so I could stay independent and on my own. Self-employment was my only option as I saw it, so I could be in control of my hours and work environment. No more Monday to Friday, 8 to 5 for me!

After a gruelling application process, I was accepted into a government sponsored self-employment program that helped me start my business which today offers bookkeeping services and business plan writing. I had times where I felt my MS might be improving, but overall I was really deteriorating.

The injection drug I was prescribed was not working for me and the side effects were horrible. The pain was unbearable most days and the injections left behind huge bruises and bumps. After a particularly terrible MS attack in December of 2000, I decided to take myself off the drug and find my own route to managing this disease.

That was the real start of an amazing journey!

The two years since then has been an incredible journey for me, personally, professionally, emotionally and MS-wise! I am in better health than I have been in years, although with the MS some would beg to differ, as they see me with a cane, walker, wheelchair or scooter! I know how I feel though, and I am much stronger and happier than I was in 2000 (and 80 pounds lighter!)

It has taken me all this time to find a program that suits me for managing my MS. I am still working towards "perfection" and 100% commitment, and I'm sure I always will until I am symptom free!! However, diet modifications, supplements, LDN, exercise, lots of water and a positive attitude and outlook on life seem to be working for me. I'm always reading and searching for more answers, and willing to try anything if funds allow it! I'm noticing improvements all the time and instead of "good days and bad days", every day is "good"; some are just better than others!

Getting the Attitude Right!

My pro-active approach to my own recovery led me to the MSRC, Sylvia Brown and "MS With Attitude". I decided to form MS With Attitude here in my hometown, and hopefully we can expand across the country eventually.

I am right now in the process of registering with the Alberta government and hope to officially launch before Summer. MS With Attitude is a group for PWMS like myself who are not going to let MS stand in their way of living a full life… search, learn, seek out therapies to help yourself, give MS a run for its money, inspire each other, refuse to give up… you get the idea! Please visit our website:

MS With Attitude

I think it's very important to have a support team, I know for me if it wasn't for my parents I don't know what I would do some days (from driving me places to helping me grocery shop and run errands to doing my laundry when I just can't… they are saints!).

I have a brilliant group of people behind me in my quest. A great personal life skills Coach, my family, wonderful friends, (in person and all over the world via the internet!), and business clients, round out my team.

MS is the gift that was given to me so I could learn and experience all I have the past few years. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and as my life is falling into place more so now than ever, I am living proof of that. Sometimes the "why" takes time to figure out, but its there if you're open to receiving it. I can honestly say I am grateful for having MS, that it gave me the kick in the butt I needed and the outlook on life I have today. I wouldn't change a thing, and if could go back and live the past 4 years over again without MS, I honestly would not do it.

This has been and continues to be a life-altering incredible journey! So that brings us back to choices... no, I did not choose to have MS show up in my life. But I do choose every day how I feel about it, manage it, and live with it.

As Sylvie says: "I can regard MS as my worst nightmare, or my greatest blessing. That is my choice".

I know what my choice is!